Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Ultimatum

Author’s Note: As frequently displayed throughout the later part of the novel Jekyll and Hyde, we are all enslaved by responsibility. When given the chance to save someone we love dearly, we somehow gather the strength to take that chance in hand, and do as told—even if the request seems terribly dangerous. This motif formed the main idea behind the short story I chose to write. While writing this story, I couldn’t stop, so sorry for the length. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

The day has come—the ultimate test of my strength. My bare toes gripping the gritty edge of the brick wall, I look down. Feeling the cool, harsh wind blow its gusts in my face, taunting and testing me with every blow, I look down. Great fear electrifies my body, leaving me tingle as I quickly steal a glance down—first seeing my shaking legs, then my toes holding on with every last ounce of strength I have, then finally the scene seventy-two stories below. In the busy and noisy streets of Chicago Avenue, blue and red lights flash in the darkness, with ear-splitting sirens howling directly below the ledge on which I stand. Faintly, I hear screaming voices, their shouts of terror getting swept up in the harsh winds.

“Cori, listen to me! Please, oh dear God, PLEASE climb back in that window! Don’t make this mistake, don’t give up the great life you have ahead of you! We all love you, and always will! If you don’t listen, we will never see you again, and you will never see us. Please don’t do this to us. If, if you jump, you will hurt us all, not just yourself. SO, PLEASE CORI, IF YOU HEAR THIS, DON’T JUMP!”

My body weakly convulses, surprisingly in laughter. With great difficulty I think to myself, “They don’t understand. They think I am doing this to bring ultimate happiness for myself, but little do they know. They think I am a selfish brat who would rather kill herself than face her problems, but that’s not it at all. How can they not know? I’ve never once had the thought of suicide cross my brain, and they know that. I guess this situation must seriously confuse, terrify, and depress them. With everything that has happened in our lives the past few months…” Shuddering in guilt, I cut off my train of thought and return to reality, quickly realizing how terrible this looks. If only they knew the half of it…

Squinting my watering eyes, I wrack my brain for the exact wording of the letter. After minutes of deep searching, I remember, remember the life changing words from my sick sister, Riley. To this very minute, the words haunt me, make me rethink this decision, make me scared, yet fearless all at the same time.


Dear Cori,

First of all, I want you to know how much I love you. You are the best older sister anyone could ask for; your strength inspires me, and that is why I decided to write this letter to you. I know this may sound extremely outrageous, but I have a favor to ask of you. Next week, I have my last surgery, the last attempt to save my life, as you know. At 7:35, 10 minutes before I go in for surgery, I want, no, need you to do something. If you do this, I promise you, I will live as healthy as ever, I can’t explain why or how I know this, all I know is that I do. So here is the favor, I need you to stand outside my window of the hospital and jump. Like I said, I know this sounds crazy, but I promise you, you will be save, and I will be cured. I am 100% positive a miracle will happen. We will both live happily, as if nothing bad has ever happened to us. Please take the chance to consider this request. If you don’t fulfill the favor, I will die. Again, I don’t know exactly how, but I will. I know you will do what is in the best t interest for both of us; I trust and love you deeply.

Love, Riley


Never would I have imagined, even in my wildest dreams, that I would be put in this outrageous position. But here I am, ready to jump. I promise myself everything will happen as accordingly, although those arrangements remain a mystery to me. With a screeching noise, my alarm sounds, and my heart skips a beat. The time has come. It is now or ever. Do I jump and risk my life, or do I climb back and risk my sister’s life? So badly do I want to trust her, but I find it so difficult to imagine that somehow, we will both be saved. Folding my hands together, lifting my head up to the dark heavens above, I pray. I pray for my sister’s health, my safety, and my family’s understanding. Struggling to stay balanced, I twist back and glance in the window. I see my sister’s lovely, but sick face reassuring me, “Everything will be okay, I promise. I love you so much, Cori. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!” Loosening the grip of the brick under my toes, I lean forward, the wind blowing now harder than ever. Shutting my eyes extremely tight, I extend my arms, and pray once again. I jump.

5 comments:

  1. Allie! This was soooo gooood!! Like literally my face kept getting closer and closer to my computer because I really wanted to know what was going to happen in the end! We somewhat did the same topic but I think we looked at it from different perspectives! I liked the way that you portrayed it and it turned out really good! Your length was fine so don't worry about that. I have nothing bad to say about this so good job! :)

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  2. I agree with Kate, this was very suspenseful and well written. It was almost like a more modern version of the chapter we just read of Jekyll and Hyde. Maybe you could have included a quote from the chapter so that we could see the parallel structure of your short story. Other than that, good job!

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  3. Allie, I really like how you took the responsibility theme from the book and applied it to a real life situation. I really loved the constant swirl of emotions going on in Cori's mind, I think you also showed the duality theme from the novel, how our minds are constantly fighting between right and wrong. The only thing that I would've liked to seen more of is the second part, where she is debating whether or not to jump and maybe a little bit more insight on why the sister needs her to jump. Other than that, it was great, and I loved how you were able to apply multiple motifs.

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  4. This was really great Allie! I love how you paralleled the book, while creating an entirely new story. I agree with Taylor that a quote would have shown how parallel your writing was to the novel but other than that great job!

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  5. I'm just in amazement, that was such a good story! I don't even realize how long it was because I was so into what was going on in the story. I think the way you took the responsibility issue was really good and mimicked the chapter in the book very nicely. I agree with Karen, more of the decision thoughts would add to the story, but the way you have it written is great. The wording and diction you use is amazing--I'm not that good with that kind of stuff so everyone elses always amazes me! Well, I really enjoyed this story, it was delightful. Nice job(:

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